A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

2012-02-08T18:17:00.000-05:00

I'M BLAMING LUPUS: Fox has announced that House, M.D. will complete its eight-year run this May.

2012-02-08T15:45:00.003-05:00

AMERICAN SCHOOLS CALLED YOU STARLIGHT IN FOURTEEN-POINT TYPE: There is a bloody battle being waged (puppies-vs.-babies-style) in the comments over at What's Alan Watching about last night's episode of New Girl, and whether it was great or terrible. Me, I mostly thought it was the kind of clunker that an otherwise pretty good show throws off now and then. The situations were too broad, forced, and sit-commy, and the attempts at transgressive humor didn't really land. It happens.

It is a good time to give the show its mid-term report card, though, and I'm going with a solid B. A show about a girl who's just about too cute for words could be insufferable, but that's not what New Girl has turned out to be. Instead, it's mostly a show about how a couple of real guys and a cartoon douchebag react to having an alien pixie fairy dropped into their ramshackle bachelor loft. By giving Nick (the writers' room's surrogate, if not the audience's) license to ask Jess, "how do you survive?" and then shove her in the right direction, the show usually can clap a stopper over any risk of excessive Jessness fouling the brew (a la Dharma & Greg or Phoebe from Friends). I'm not wild about episodes (like last night's) that suggest that Jess's intrusive pep is effective, but as long as the show acknowledges as often as not that Jess's childishness is an impairment, there's plenty of room in that structure for good comedy.

2012-02-08T11:47:00.002-05:00

IF THEY CAN'T MAKE MONEY ON THIS, THEY WILL CONSIDER GETTING OUT OF THE MONEY MAKING BUSINESS: After the run of Game of Thrones, HBO will apparently hand the Sunday night slot for the summer over to Vampires Get Nekkid and Aaron Sorkin's new Newsroom, starting June 24.

2012-02-08T09:36:00.000-05:00

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN DOO DOO: John Williams -- the film composer, not "Hot Rod" or "Hot Plate" or any of the other John Williamses -- turns 80 today.

2012-02-08T08:56:00.001-05:00

SUPERMAN DOES GOOD; YOU'RE DOING WELL. YOU NEED TO STUDY YOUR GRAMMAR, SON: The twice-daily 30 Rock reruns on Comedy Central have restarted their cycle this week -- last night, I re-learned that Lutz had a first name (J.D.) and Toofer is really "James Spurlock." (Seriously, it's like that rarely-aired pilot of Gilligan's Island where you learn the Skipper's and Professor's full names.)

It's fun watching the show figuring itself out -- Tracy's even more antagonistic than he ends up being (and, at the time, his entourage was more thuggish than lovable), Pete and Josh have larger roles (and they're still trying to figure out a place for Rachel Dratch), but hot damn is Jack Donaghy fully formed from the first moment. There are far worse ways to spend an hour each night than to watch the show that ended up winning the war with Studio 60. Also, here's a compilation of Liz Lemon flashbacks.

2012-02-08T08:10:00.000-05:00

OMAR DON'T SCARE: This week's episode of The Wire, "The Wire," gets us deeper into how people survive in this world. Bubbles has his copper scheme; Wallace is somehow raising a crew of parentless kids on chips and juice boxes; the police are subject to bureaucratic pressures potentially thwarting meaningful policing, forcing them to choose their battles; McNulty, again, lets his day job bleed into his parenting time without any sense of how reckless he's being. At least Bodie is "ready to be good," and I'm sure that'll work out well for everyone.

This episode didn't hit the dramatic (or comic) heights of some of its predecessors, but damn I enjoy each hour in this world.

2012-02-07T19:11:00.000-05:00

PAGING TOMMY WESTPHALL: Follow the bouncing pop culture reference.

2012-02-07T16:58:00.001-05:00

THIS DISTRICT SMELLS LIKE RAT PISS/MY NAME IS KATNISS: Lana Del Rey's "Hunger Games."

2012-02-07T14:12:00.003-05:00

THE ONLY PLACE WHERE ELITISM REQUIRES YOU TO SCORN THE HARVARD ALUM: New York Knicks guard Jeremy Lin is a novelty in the NBA because he is Taiwanese-American and a Harvard graduate (in a league where a fourth year of college is almost a badge of basketball inferiority). He doesn't exactly qualify as an out-of-nowhere sensation (he got a long Sports Illustrated profile a few years ago), and the odds remain firmly stacked against his long-term success (he got little time for the Warriors last year, and he is the Knicks' backup point guard only by virtue of injuries to two other Knicks guards). Even if the NBA existed (it doesn't), I wouldn't bet on a long and storied career.

But Lin had a great game the other night. More importantly he had a stirring game. It is rare to see giant, jaded, tattooed, bearded NBA players bouncing in giddy excitement and surprise at the performance of one of their teammates. For one game, Jeremy Lin, the NBA's most collegiate player, infected the pro game with collegiate enthusiasm. Try not to smile at Lin's highlights and the reactions of his teammates and Knicks fans.

2012-02-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

TAKE NOTHING ON ITS LOOKS; TAKE EVERYTHING ON EVIDENCE. THERE'S NO BETTER RULE: Happy 200th birthday, Charles Dickens.

2012-02-07T08:07:00.000-05:00

I AIN'T GONNA TAKE NONE OF YOUR PUTTIN' ME DOWN: Former American Idol finalist Casey Abrams, much beloved in these parts, has shaved his beard (on video) as part of an awareness campaign for inflammatory bowel disease. More importantly? He now has a record deal with Concord Music Group, a jazz label.

2012-02-06T20:50:00.002-05:00

SADLY, BILLY CRYSTAL WILL STILL GET TO SING: Apparently, there will be no performances of the two nominated songs at the Oscars this year.

2012-02-06T10:06:00.003-05:00

NO, THIS SHOW DOES NOT FEATURE THE HULK: Since NBC's move of Medium out of the slot, that 10 PM Monday timeslot has been an ugly one for then (occupants since then have included Studio 60, Journeyman, My Own Worst Enemy, Chase, and The Playboy Club--all costly flops of varying degrees of quality). Having seen the pilot of Smash, I'm not convinced it's going to fix that problem for NBC, though it's definitely on the high end of the quality spectrum. I did want to talk about two problems that the show could easily fall into--one of which it overcomes, and one of which is why I think it's going to flop (at least among the general public).

"Show Don't Tell"--Possibly the most common knock on Studio 60 was that it spent an infinite time with characters telling us how brilliant and edgy the comedy writing on the show was, but when we saw the sketches themselves, they were far from brilliant. (Though Simon Helberg's Nicolas Cage impression was kinda funny.) Smash attempts to overcome this in two ways. First, we're incessantly reminded that the musical we're seeing is a work in progress with problems still being worked on, so we don't have the inflated expectations issue, at least thus far. Second, they've smartly brought in pros (Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman) to write the songs and hired legit stage talent and choreographers, so when we see a fully staged number (especially the baseball one from the pilot) it works.

"Inside Baseball"--Yes, there's a lot in the show that's very cookie-cutter--plucky girl from the midwest v. chorus girl for a starring role! A sleazy director trying to use the casting couch! "Spider-Man" jokes! But are people outside of NYC going to get who Michael Reidel is, much less why people are so neurotic about what he writes? Yes, folks who know theatre will eat it up, but that's not exactly a mass audience.

You can also almost see the network notes being put into action--Megan Hilty's introduction includes a loving pan up her (quite impressive) figure, for instance--but I'm interested to see if this can become a mainstream hit, though I can see NBC being quite happy if it does a solid audience of high-income viewers and keeps up with the acclaim given how deep the hole they're in is.

2012-02-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

MANNING FROM HEAVEN: Well, that was a football game. MVPs: Eli, Manningham, Madonna (incl. Slacklining Dude), Tuck, Eastwood, whoever shot the Beckham ad; LVP: whoever approved that Fiat ad.

2012-02-05T08:54:00.001-05:00

HEY GIRL: For the month of February, Time Warner Cable is offering an all-Ryan Gosling channel.

2012-02-05T08:54:00.000-05:00

ALL HE (STILL) EVER DOES IS NOT GET INDUCTED: Defying this blog's clearly expressed wishes, the nation's football writers have again bypassed Cris Carter for the Professional Football Hall of Fame and instead elected cornerback Jack Butler, center Dermontti Dawson, defensive end/linebacker Chris Doleman, defensive tackle Cortez Kennedy, running back Curtis Martin, and tackle Willie Roaf.

I have no objection to any of the the inductees. But Cris Carter belongs in too. FWIW, Michael Strahan, Jonathan Ogden, and Warren Sapp join the ballot next year.

2012-02-04T11:49:00.000-05:00

SUPER BELL WEEKEND: The Inquirer's Craig Laban reassesses the top of Philadelphia's food pyramid for the first time in five years, dropping Le Bec Fin and Lacroix far from the pinnacle and replacing them with some five-lettered newcomers.

2012-02-03T16:47:00.000-05:00

KING OF THE IMPOSSIBLE: American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert reportedly will be the lead singer for Queen on tour this summer.

Never not awesome: Isaac Spaceman presents the Adam Lambert Roundtable: A Discussion of Arts, Politics, and Culture.

2012-02-03T16:11:00.000-05:00

I JUST THINK THAT IF YOU'RE INTO DJUNA BARNES JOKES, THEN THIS IS THE FILM FOR YOU: Anthony Bourdain makes his Oscar picks, praising The Tree of Life while panning Midnight in Paris, saying of the latter: "If the word 'elitist' didn’t exist before, now it would. I hated everything about it."

2012-02-03T09:00:00.001-05:00

SEVENTH ANNUAL SEASON-ENDING BIG GAME POOL: Five questions, one blog:

1. Winner/final score.
2. Official Game MVP.
3. Which advertiser tops the USA Today Super Bowl Ad Meter?
4. Predict something interesting about Madonna's performance.
5. Will Kelly Clarkson's rendition of the National Anthem be longer or shorter than 1:34?

Tiebreaker: Pick a prop bet as listed on Football Outsiders. Get it right. The tougher the odds of winning your bet, the more credit you get.

Previous winners: 2006: Benner; 2007: me; 2008: Joseph J. Finn ; 2009: Scott; 2010: Scott again; and 2011: GoldnI. As they will tell you, the prizes are Fame and Glory within this community, but nothing financial.

[My predictions: Giants 31-24; Eli; Doritos; Nicki Minaj will be weird enough to compel my mom to call me immediately thereafter to ask me who the heck that was; shorter. Tiebreaker: Manningham (14/1) to score game's first td.]

added: NYMag has odds on various FCC-related infractions during the halftime performance.

2012-02-03T08:18:00.000-05:00

LIFE MOVES PRETTY FAST: As long as we're working through how much time Phil Connors had each day to learn French poetry, ice carving, and the piano in Groundhog Day, might as well also tackle the feasibility of Ferris Bueller's timeline.

2012-02-02T15:38:00.000-05:00

SHE WAS LOOKING KIND OF DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB: The fiftieth Super Bowl will be played in 2016, and brand experts believe it may be necessary to shift from Roman to Arabic numerals for that one.

2012-02-02T13:44:00.002-05:00

1.21 GIGAWATTS OF PURE THEATRICAL MAGIC: Nikki Finke alleges that talks are underway for Back To The Future: The Musical. It's an interesting concept, because you can certainly justify Marty bursting into song given his musical inclinations, but I'm not sure I see this one working.

2012-02-02T08:00:00.004-05:00

OKAY, CAMPERS, RISE AND SHINE, AND DON'T FORGET YOUR BOOTIES 'CAUSE IT'S COOOOOOLD OUT THERE TODAY: It's February 2, so it's time to talk about the movie again. Do you buy the whole Buddhist thing, or should we just quote lines for a while and generally discuss its awesomeness?

Participate in this thread, or it's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

2012-02-01T21:31:00.000-05:00

STOP BENDIN' THE SHAFTS! Thirty years ago tonight, David Letterman hosted Late Night With David Letterman for the first time. NYMag has compiled 19 video clips as a reminder of why he matters so much to all we find funny today, and the LA Times has 20 more.

2012-02-01T15:55:00.007-05:00

LOI? I? I LOL: It used to be that if you wanted to make some kind of big point about how ridiculous sports fandom gets, you'd point to coverage of the NFL draft. But today eclipses that. Today is college football's National Letter of Intent day, the day when hundreds of hypertalented 18-year-olds -- some impossibly large, some impossibly fast, a few both -- sign horribly one-sided contracts of adhesion granting them the right to put their health at risk for the financial benefit of the school and the entertainment of the alumni and regional fans.

You can look at LOI day in two ways. The traditional (or "traditional," since the concept of "LOI Day" as an event is itself fairly recent) way is to see it as a celebration of potential, an introduction to the players who will make up a quarter of a favored team for the next several years. The second way of thinking of LOI Day -- the ascendent, but unspoken way -- is as an event unto itself, a corollary contest bearing roughly the same relationship to college football as beach volleyball bears to indoor volleyball. No matter what happens next year, or for the next four years, Cal lost this LOI Day, and Alabama won this LOI day, and your officially sanctioned (pun intended) underdog USC overachieved, and years from now, thousands of recruiting junkies will look back on this as one of the most exciting days in the history of college recruiting. Thus do Scout.com and Rivals.com compile rankings of all of the major college recruiting classes, diligently tallying the weighted aggregations of five-, four-, and three-star recruits, or of blue-, red-, and white-chippers. Thus do the fans of Cal pour into Cal Golden Blogs, less to read and remark about their new players than to spew vitriol at Tosh Lupoi, a man whose late-vintage fame derives principally from the fact that he left employment at Cal (where he was a key recruiter) for a rival that doubled his salary. And thus do 18-year-olds say and do tremendously stupid things, not in the privacy of their own communities, but in tweets and press conferences solemnly repeated in national newspapers and widely read web sites.

I have two favorite examples this year. The first is from a blue-chip player (the name escapes me) who orally committed somewhere, but who then ended up dropped from that school's and various other schools' recruitment after everybody found his unusually single-minded sex-obsessed Twitter feed. The second is the story of Jordan Payton, a wide receiver who orally committed -- publicly, earnestly, and enthusiastically -- to USC, then to Cal, and then to Washington (yesterday), before signing an LOI today with UCLA. If you're counting, that's only a third of the schools in the Pac-12. I'm surprised he couldn't fit Oregon in there anywhere. "Commitment" -- You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

2012-02-01T15:24:00.001-05:00

THE HIPPEST TRIP IN AMERICA: I wasn't quite sure how, as a 39-year-old white guy, I had any ability or authority to eulogize Soul Train creator/host Don Cornelius, who ended his life today at the age of 75.

"The epitome of black entrepreneurship, building Soul Train from the ground up" is how Pam Spaulding put it, and I guess what I can add is that in the pre-MTV era, Soul Train is the vehicle that smuggled black culture into white households. I don't think primarily of the musical performances or even the scramble board, but rather the dancing -- and especially the line dancing. That wasn't something I got to see at my USY dances, and it wasn't music that I got to listen to on Top-40 radio of the early 1980s.

Soul Train made my childhood a little funkier and more enjoyable, and for that I say thank you, Mr. Cornelius.

2012-02-01T08:01:00.000-05:00

YOU HAVE EXACTLY 8 HOURS AND 54 MINUTES TO THINK ABOUT WHY YOU ARE HERE: For our many readers who serve the public in them, here's a montage of movie and tv clips set in libraries.

2012-02-01T07:55:00.000-05:00

HOW COMPLEX CAN A CODE BE IF THESE KNUCKLEHEADS ARE USIN' IT? Welcome back to the chessboard that is Baltimore, as in "The Pager" The Wire again shows us competence and intelligence coming from all sides -- Prez solving the beeper cipher; Avon and Stringer on taking over markets; Omar handling his confrontation with the police to his advantage, and knowing exactly where rats run when chased. Oh, also: crumb sweepers are classy.

In the meantime, a whole lot of pawns are being sacrificed, and D'Angelo's not acting with anywhere near the caution that his uncle would recommend.

This was a strong, solid episode; our universe keeps expanding (Bird, Dierde's informative friend Tywanda) and I still don't know all the regulars' names, but I don't at all feel lost. Instead, the details are being filled in, especially in terms of just how an operation like Avon Barksdale's works. And I'm fascinated.

2012-01-31T18:04:00.001-05:00

YOU KEEP ON PUSHING MY LOVE OVER THE IMAGINARYYELLOWLINE: Yet another mainstay of our Super Bowl pool will have to be ditched, because Madonna has leaked her halftime setlist. Sadly, no "Justify My Love" in front of hundreds of millions around the world.

2012-01-31T15:54:00.002-05:00

CHARLOTTE RAE CAN CANCEL HER DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT: TV character actors who subscribe to the theory that notable deaths happen in threes will be breathing a sigh of relief now that on the heels of Robert "Epstein" Hegyes death, the robot from Lost in Space has warned Will Robinson for the last time and Elaine's boss Mr. Pitt has moved on to a place where all the socks are decent, comfortable and will stay on your foot.

2012-01-31T15:36:00.000-05:00

YOU GOT MONEY, YOU GET TO BE WHATEVER YOU SAY YOU ARE: A reminder that tomorrow is Wire Wednesday, and we're up to episode 5, "The Pager," which involves a pager, a dessert cart, Ikea furniture, and cheese (standing alone), albeit not in that order.

2012-01-31T09:03:00.001-05:00

THIS IS NEITHER PARTY NOR ROCK: In the tradition of Christopher Walken reading "Poker Face" and Benedict Cumberbatch singing "Candle In The Wind" in the style of Alan Rickman, I give you Nicolas Cage reciting the lyrics to "Sexy and I Know It."

2012-01-31T08:00:00.000-05:00

LA BAMBA STAR MORALES: Slate introduces The Shortz Factor, a measure of how frequently a name is invoked in the NYT's crosswords compared to other pages in the newspaper.

2012-01-31T07:55:00.000-05:00

SAY HOWDY TO GEORGE CARTER: There is absolutely nothing of pop culture relevance contained in yesterday's Letters of Note entry, an August 7, 1865 letter from Jourdan Anderson of Dayton, Ohio, to Col. P.H. Anderson of Big Spring, Tennessee, but nothing you read today will be more satisfying.

2012-01-30T21:43:00.000-05:00

A MESS O'CABBAGE: God bless the internet, because someone else already reviewed all the Kelly Clarkson renditions of Our National Anthem on YouTube to conclude you should probably bet the 'under' on whether she'll go longer than 1:34 at the Super Bowl. (Last year's Christina Aguilera anthem had an o/u of 1:52, and it went over.)

2012-01-30T17:58:00.003-05:00

YOU TOO, CAN BECOME THE MAYOR OF SASSY CITY: I suspect for a certain portion of our audience, the news that someone has begun scanning excerpts from random issues of Sassy (poor 90s fashion decisions! an advice column from Beck! "Zines of the month!") will be cause for celebration.

2012-01-30T10:21:00.000-05:00

ALL IT'S MISSING IS A CHARLIE SHEEN CAMEO: We may have to take our annual AdMeter question out of the pool, because here's that Ferris Bueller/Honda ad you've been waiting for.

2012-01-30T08:11:00.000-05:00

I'M THE EYE-MAN OF TV, WITH MY OCULAR TB: Inspired by last week's spasm of coverage regarding Pres. John Tyler's living grandchildren (which, ahem, some of us could have told you over three years ago), the folks at Mental Floss couldn't help but wonder: what's your favorite all-time amazing fact?

2012-01-29T14:56:00.002-05:00

INCREDIBLY CLOSE TO WHAT? As part of my feeling an obligation to see at least the majority of films that are Best Picture nominees (now at 6 of 9 for the year--haven't seen The Artist, The Tree of Life, or War Horse, and will probably only get to 7 or 8 total), I saw Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close in a fairly full theatre on the Upper East Side of Manhattan last night. I certainly wouldn't have ranked it #1 on my ballot, but nor did I react with the shock and disgust that some critics have leveled at the film. A couple of relatively spoiler-free thoughts:

Despite the fact that Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock are top billed, they have maybe 10-15 minutes of screen time each--indeed, I think Max von Sydow and Viola Davis both have more screen time than does Hanks. (Reports are that Bullock had a significant subplot excised which involved James Gandolfini, who was highly billed on early posters, and whose part is entirely left on the cutting room floor.) That means that the movie rises and falls on Thomas Horn, whose sole credit before this was appearing on Kids Week on Jeopardy! The problem is that the character is a bit of a blank slate, though this is less Horn's fault than the source material and screenplay. Particularly given a reveal near the end of the film, I wonder if there wasn't a better movie to be made in which all the narrative weight didn't lie on his shoulders, but was shared in parallel with another character (as I understand the book is, mixing Oskar's story with flashbacks that are entirely absent from the film).
Much of the reaction to the film (particularly the negative reaction) seems to be centered on how 9/11 plays a prominent role in the film. I'm wondering if a better movie could have been made by excising 9/11 entirely from it--have Hanks' character die in a random act of violence rather than one fraught with such emotion. Admittedly, this requires some rejiggering of plot elements, but less than you might think, and might have allowed both the filmmakers and the audience to focus on a small portrait of grief rather than trying to create a large and universal one.

There are some moments in the film that really work (particularly a couple of scenes between Bullock and Horn and von Sydow's wordless, but world-weary, performance), but on the whole, I found it an interesting example of a film that tries too hard to say everything, and, as a result, winds up saying pretty much nothing.

2012-01-29T14:43:00.000-05:00

ONE FINAL THING I HAVE TO DO ... AND THEN I'LL BE FREE OF THE PAST: The judges have spoken, and we have our winners in Matt Zoller Seitz's Vertigoed contest, selecting among 98 entries consisting of other film clips (such as the downfall of @DukeandDukePHL) set to Bernard Herrmann's memorable "Scene D'Amour" from the Vertigo score. The winner? One word: KHAAAAAN!

2012-01-28T12:02:00.000-05:00

"LAST WEEK, WE DID A SHOW ... THAT LAID ... WITHOUT A DOUBT ... THE BIGGEST BOMB IN HISTORY": It's one of my favorite Hollywood stories, and I'm glad to see it told well by Splitsider -- You're In The Picture, the Jackie Gleason celebrity game show which aired once on January 20, 1961 (um ... kind of a busy night?) and only once, a show so bad that Gleason spent the next week's half-hour slot apologizing for the show having aired.

2012-01-27T16:43:00.000-05:00

WHAT'S THE HAPS ON THE CRAPS? In the tradition of Which Cubs Game Did Ferris Bueller Attend? and my What St. John's Game Did Prince Akeem Enjoy?, someone has cross-referenced the Lakers' box scores, Los Angeles weather reports, MTV's programming schedule and the history of beeper technology to determine that January 20, 1992, was Ice Cube's Good Day.

2012-01-27T09:38:00.000-05:00

SINISTER PHASE THREE: Longtime ALOTT5MA fave Evan O'Dorney, the 2007 National Spelling Bee champion from the East Bay (who Shonda once called an "adorable pint-size spelling genius and I know in my heart that one day he’ll create some kind of amazing box-type object that will change the world somehow"), is now a freshman at Harvard, where The Crimson profiles him today. Two highlights:

"He is one of the few freshmen ever to place out of Math 55—the most advanced undergraduate math course offered—directly into graduate mathematics classes in his first semester."

"O’Dorney even offered to spell-check this article before it went to print."

2012-01-27T08:12:00.000-05:00

UP YOUR NOSE WITH A RUBBER HOSE: Piggybacking for a second straight day off something in the prior day's comments, I wanted to focus on something Eric J said in our discussion of the death of Welcome Back Kotter's Robert Hegyes:

Possibly the biggest gap between how much I loved it as a kid, and how unwatchable I'd find it now of any show.

A few years ago, I watched a few WBK reruns on Nick at Nite and found myself appreciating Gabe Kaplan more and the Sweathogs a little less. Bigger gaps for me are certainly for some of the animated stuff I devoured as a kid -- Super Friends and Scooby-Doo in particular, and among live-action stuff, I do not think Laverne & Shirley has aged well. It just seems so loud and clunky, and I don't quite get the appeal anymore.

2012-01-26T18:48:00.000-05:00

AS LONG AS THERE IS INJUSTICE, WHENEVER A TARGATHIAN BABY CRIES OUT, WHEREVER A DISTRESS SIGNAL SOUNDS AMONG THE STARS, WE'LL BE THERE: Splitsider points out that Harold Ramis was originally signed to direct Galaxy Quest, and the fascinating part is why he backed out:

Originally titled Captain Starshine when it was first written but then wisely changed to Galaxy Quest, this sci-fi comedy was a directing project that Harold Ramis signed onto in 1998. Ramis reportedly left the movie, though, when Disney insisted on casting Tim Allen in the lead role, and Dean Parisot took over. According to movie site Ain’t it Cool News, Kevin Kline was Ramis’s first choice but Kline turned the part down. Ramis then wanted Alec Baldwin to play the lead role but the studio nixed that idea and selected Tim Allen.

By Grabthar's hammer, Baldwin would have been awesome in the role. Damn.

2012-01-26T16:51:00.000-05:00

DEAR MR. KOTTER, PLEASE EXCUSE JUAN EPSTEIN FROM CLASS TODAY BECAUSE HE'S DEAD. SIGNED, EPSTEIN'S MOTHER: R.I.P. Robert Hegyes, Isro role model (even though he wasn't Jewish -- just the character), passed away at the age 60.

2012-01-26T08:14:00.000-05:00

OH, YOU ONLY FIGHT THE FIGHTS YOU CAN WIN? YOU FIGHT THE FIGHTS THAT NEED FIGHTING! Following up on yesterday's discussion, which has links to various lists in the comments, let's try to figure out who is the best living actor or actress to have never been nominated for an Academy Award.

For all of our Alan Rickman sympathy, yesterday's discussion suggested four other names perhaps higher on that list: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Mr. Steve Martin, Martin Sheen, and Jim Carrey -- and while I don't think of Carrey as being a great actor, between his performances in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Man on the Moon, and The Truman Show ... how has he not been nominated yet?

2012-01-25T22:41:00.000-05:00

BECAUSE PETER GARRETT ISN'T THE ONLY AUSTRALIAN CABINET MINISTER WE EVER DISCUSS: Congratulations to Aussie transport minister Anthony Albanese for his totally original remarks today:

In Australia, we have serious challenges to solve and we need serious people to solve them. Unfortunately, Tony Abbott is not the least bit interested in fixing anything. He is only interested in two things: making Australians afraid of it and telling them who's to blame for it.

It is unclear whether he then proceeded to have sex with Annette Bening.

2012-01-25T21:05:00.003-05:00

BECAUSE JOEY WORKED OUT SO WELL FOR EVERYONE: A few years ago, there were rumblings of an Office spinoff, and fortunately for all concerned, it morphed into Parks & Recreation instead. Now, preparations are hard at work for Schrute Farms, a spinoff focusing on Dwight and his life at Schrute Farms. As cartoonish as Dwight has become, this sounds like a pretty awful idea, even though there's been some great material revolving around the farm over the years. Of course, complicating matters is that basically no one is under contract to the mothership show for next season, which may force this on us. In addition to the awfulness of this idea, feel free to discuss spinoffs you wish you could have seen (I still wish there was a "Paris and Doyle Move To NYC" spinoff of Gilmore Girls) or backdoor pilots that didn't go (like the 80s set Gossip Girl spinoff/prequel with Brittany Snow as Lily Rhodes (later van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey) and Krysten Ritter as her sister).

2012-01-25T10:31:00.002-05:00

(MUST BE) THE MONEY: Terrell Owens is the subject of this GQ profile of a football player with a usual set of problems: despite a relatively unflashy life, he's out of work and out of money. Now it's his fault -- bad personal decisions, bad family decisions. But I'm sympathetic to these guys -- even TO. They never learned to handle a dollar because they never had one in the first place. But this is, for many of them, all of the money they will ever make and given they'd never seen how fast a family can use up $60K or $100K, $3 or $4M a year must seem inexhaustible. $80M in lifetime earnings. And it's gone.

2012-01-25T09:09:00.002-05:00

ACCIO TRIBUTE! For being the world's highest-grossing film franchise in history (non-adjusted for inflation, in which case it would be the James Bond films, albeit with 3x the films), the Harry Potter series sure hasn't gotten any respect from the Academy. In sum, the eight films have received twelve nominations in total, none for acting/writing/directing, and zero wins. Alan Rickman, still, has never received an Oscar nomination in his life.

(By way of comparison, the Lord of the Rings trilogy received thirty nominations overall and won seventeen Oscars -- 4/13 for Fellowship, 2/6 on Two Towers, 11/11 for Return of the King.)

The series deserves better. Steve Kloves, J.K. Rowling, the actors, and the producing team deserve credit for an overall faithful, entertaining, family-friendly adaptation of a deservedly legendary series of books. They picked great kids a decade ago who matured into the actors they needed; the UK's finest thespians were well-used in filling out this world. When you consider how many adaptations fail to capture their source material accurately, the Harry Potter films cleared a high bar indeed.

So, with only three nominations this year, all in technical categories, what is to be done? I think an Honorary Oscar to commemorate the overall achievement would be appropriate, except those were already given out this year. (Make an exception!) Otherwise, at a minimum, they should at least do a three-minute tribute reel, then bring out the cast and behind-the-scene team for the long standing ovation they richly deserve. This is only common sense—not magic.

2012-01-25T08:23:00.000-05:00

THIRTEEN YEARS AND FOUR MONTHS: This week's Wire Wednesday episode, "Old Cases," is all about being Real Police. Unlike the first three episodes, it doesn't feel like there's an even split between police-side and street-side plots; there's much more focus on the police, and we finally get to see competence (even intelligence) all around.

The crescendo is what apparently's just referred to as the "fuck" scene (NSFW, but you know that by now, because it's used about 38 times), a symphony of language and Bunk & McNulty's intelligence perfectly set up by D'Angelo's prior narration of what happened—like an inner-city version of that opening computer graphics scene in Titanic which shows us exactly how the ship will sink. And we've also got Lester's figuring of D'Angelo's pager number, setting up the next stage of the investigation.

Sure, there's dumb law enforcement too -- Bodie's escape from Boys Village and all the insurance/pension scam stuff does not reflect well on Baltimore's Finest, nor does the titular shunting of real police like Lester into more than a decade of index card work. But for once, I feel like the police may actually have a chance to crack the Barksdale operation.

About that operation: they've got a problem other than the police, and his name is Omar. I have no idea how shocking his being gay came off at the time—this is one of those facts I absorbed from the culture about the show, so I expected it—but it's certainly unique, and unlike Vito Spatafore on The Sopranos not at all played for laughs. I would not want to be Avon Barksdale's top priority, and am intrigued to see what happens next.

2012-01-24T23:14:00.000-05:00

ENJOY EVERY SANDWICH: Warren Zevon would have turned 65 today; he's now been gone from us for over eight years. Here's "Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner," and, oh, his appearance on a particularly cursed episode of The Larry Sanders Show.

2012-01-24T19:06:00.001-05:00

COOPER, YOU'RE AN AMAZING DANCER, AND YOU'RE A GREAT CHOREOGRAPHER, BUT AS A BOYFRIEND ... YOU KINDA SUCK: A certain segment of our readership will care that Ethan Stiefel has announced his impending retirement as a principal dancer for the American Ballet Theater, and will give his final performance as Ali, the Slave, in ABT’s production of Le Corsaire on Saturday evening, July 7, 2012. [HT: Linda Holmes.]

2012-01-24T16:09:00.000-05:00

WHAT PART OF "LIFETIME APPOINTMENT" ~~DON'T YOU GET, SIR?~~ ... NEVERMIND, HE GOT IT: The Hon. Wesley Brown joined the federal bench in 1958, appointed as a bankruptcy judge by President Dwight Eisenhower, and was promoted to the United States District Court for the District of Kansas by President John F. Kennedy in 1962. He had grown up next door to freed slaves; when he attended college, Calvin Coolidge was President.

"You know, he could have retired years ago at full salary," explained one of his colleagues on the bench when Brown turned 93. "But I think one of the reasons he stays is because he doesn't believe in doing something for nothing. He couldn't take the taxpayers' money for not working."

Judge Brown continued to hear a full docket of cases well past the age of 100, and did not reduce his caseload until last year. Judge Brown passed away last night at the age of 104.

2012-01-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

AM I BUGGIN' YA? In response to our recent discussion, a helpful reader notes that in today's NYT crossword puzzle, the clue for 42-Down is "U2 Guitarist," and there are seven letters, not four. (No, "Clayton" doesn't work.)

2012-01-24T08:44:00.002-05:00

ATTACK OF THE SHORT GOLD MEN: Looks like we've got a few surprises in the Oscar nods:

No nomination for Tilda Swinton for best actress despite a slew of critics prizes for her in We Need To Talk About Kevin, though Rooney Mara and Glenn Close got in.
A couple of surprises in Best Actor--Gary Oldman gets into the mix for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (which is also in the running for adapted screenplay), and Demian Bichir gets in for the little-seen A Better Life.
Despite the "tighter" Best Pic eligibility rules, 9 nominees, including a couple of surprises--Tree of Life and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, both of which likely benefited from the ranked voting system in which a #1 vote counts for a lot in nominations, as they are highly, highly polarizing, with their fans being insistent on their high value.
In the category of "People who are going to lose to Christopher Plummer," Nick Nolte's performance in Warrior (which I found extremely hammy) is on the short list, as are Jonah Hill's work in Moneyball and Max Von Sydow's wordless work in Extremely Loud. Interestingly, 3 of the 20 acting nominations are for non-speaking roles.
They bent over backwards to snub Pixar, Tintin, and Rio in Animated Feature, with two obscure films to fill out the category but not slow the inevitable win of Rango.
Apparently only two original song competitors, with an easy call for "Man or Muppet" to win.
Other movies that can add "Academy Award Nominee" to their ads? Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Real Steel, Anonymous, and Madonna's film W.E.

2012-01-23T21:00:00.000-05:00

SKIPPYJON JONES, FOILED AGAIN: After a year's absence, Christy in NYC is back for the fifth time to sum up the American Library Association's annual awards for the best in children's publishing. Without further hesitation, here goes:

* * *

My friends! Remember last year, when the ALA Youth Media Awards were announced, and Adam wrote to me reminding me to write my annual guest post, but I was so feverish that I had just that morning tried to use a cell phone to call someone in the next room but couldn't because I had it upside down? So there was no way I could write something coherent, let alone publishable? I sort of remember that, vaguely. But this year I am strong as a horse! And ready to show you the list of books that won this morning, the biggest morning in children's publishing, the announcement of the 2012 ALA Youth Media Awards! Here are the biggies:

John Newbery Medal for the most outstanding contribution to children's literature: Dead End in Norvelt by Jack Gantos. Honors went to Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Li (which had already taken gold in the National Book Award Young People's Literature category this past fall) and Breaking Stalin's Nose by Eugene Yelchin.

Randolph Caldecott Medal for the most distinguished American picture book for children: A Ball for Daisy, illustrated and written by Chris Raschka. There were three honors for the Caldecott: Blackout by John Rocco, Grandpa Green by Lane Smith, and Me...Jane by Patrick McDonnell.

Michael L. Printz Award for excellence in literature written for young adults: Where Things Come Back by John Corey Whaley. This also took the top prize for the Morris Award for a debut YA novel.

Coretta Scott King Award for authors went to Kadir Nelson for Heart and Soul, which also got an honor in the illustrator category. But the winner for illustrator went to Shane W. Evans for Underground.

There are many, many more winners and honors on the list, and depending on the needs of the young readers in your life (or just your own literary tastes), there are plenty of wonderful books to discover, sorted into neat little categories. Also of interest might be the Alex Award Winners, for adult books that could have special appeal to young adults.

If I were to sum up (and here I go), I would say that this year's list of winners and honors is a surprise, not so much for what's on the list, but for what's not. While there are very few books here that didn't get award buzz, the ones that were arguably getting the most buzz do not show up, or show up in unexpected places.

A few examples: I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen was among the most buzzed Caldecott candidates, along with Me...Jane and Grandpa Green, but it ended up appearing on the Theodor Seuss Geisel honor list for beginning readers. Many would have said the Newbery was for Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt (who has won several Newbery honors but never gold) to lose. The only place it appears is on the Odyssey honor list for best audio books. Amelia Lost and A Monster Calls, two very common picks of the higher-profile mock Newbery committees this year are nowhere to be found. And there are certainly many YA books I thought might show up on the Printz list that didn't, but I'm not sure which I would have expected to not be there instead.

So, friends? What were your favorite books for young readers in 2011? What are your kids loving? And do you see those books on this list?

2012-01-23T20:13:00.002-05:00

WELL, START BY BRINGIN' BACK THE AWESOME 70s-80s JERSEYS: The Houston Astros were the baseball team of my youth--indeed, my first ever ballgame was one of the Ryan no-hitters in the Astrodome--so I feel compelled to note that new ownership, as part of its "we love the fans" plans (which include cutting prices for tickets and beer) won't rule out changing the team's name. Admittedly, with the team no longer playing in the Dome (the disposal of which is a hot issue in Houston) and the space shuttle program at an end, the justification for the name is minimal, but I suspect they'll stick with it--it's not like the name has a history of failure and ignominy, and there aren't many other options out there. Anyone have suggestions?

2012-01-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

SWEEP THE LEG. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Anyone want to defend this as good sportsmanship?

After the game, reporters crowded around the locker of Jacquian Williams, who'd forced the second fumble, hoping for an angle: Had the Giants noticed something about Kyle Williams's technique, some weakness in the 49ers punt-return scheme? "Nah," Williams said. "The thing is, we knew he had four concussions, so that was our biggest thing, was to take him outta the game."

Devin Thomas, the reserve wide receiver who recovered both of Kyle Williams's fumbles, was even more explicit. “He’s had a lot of concussions," Thomas told the Star-Ledger columnist Steve Politi. "We were just like, ‘We gotta put a hit on that guy.’ ... [Giants reserve safety Tyler] Sash did a great job hitting him early and he looked kind of dazed when he got up. I feel like that made a difference and he coughed it up.”

It certainly sounds like the Giants' special teams players were told about Williams's history of concussions, and that they went after him because of it. (That this has so far drawn no attention from beat reporters suggests that such planning is commonplace). It's impossible to know whether Thomas is right — if Williams in fact was concussed or woozy during the game — but he didn't look himself yesterday: There was the third-quarter punt that skimmed off his knee after he seemed to dawdle, unsure whether to pick it up or let it roll, and at least two punts that he fair-caught though he had plenty of room to run. Sports Illustrated's Ann Killion also noticed "a fumble on a reverse that he fell on, a strange sideways diving catch on another punt that could have been disaster." Williams played virtually the whole game at wide receiver and didn't register a single catch.

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The This Had Oscar Buzz tumblr collects movie posters from, yeah, those movies. Amelia, anyone?

2012-01-22T22:41:00.001-05:00

~~AIN'T GONNA BE NO REMATCH~~ GREAT. IT'S A REMATCH: It's good to see fanbases as unfulfilled and unrewarded as Boston's and New York's finally have a chance at the glory and excitement of a sports championship. Let the two weeks of hype begin.

added: Stefan Fatsis explains how a few extra seconds without panic might have improved Billy Cundiff's field goal attempt.

2012-01-22T12:01:00.000-05:00

PRIMACY AND RECENCY: That's what we're all taught as lawyers; your first impression matters a lot, and then folks will remember how you ended. What's in between doesn't stick quite as much.

Joe Paterno's passing this morning reminds us of the distorting effect of these mental biases. Yes, every obituary must of necessity contain a "but" or, in the NYT's case, an "only to be..." Children were raped and he did not do enough to stop it, or as KR quoted in a comment:

Downey: What did we do wrong? We did nothing wrong.
Dawson: Yeah, we did. We were supposed to fight for the people who couldn't fight for themselves. We were supposed to fight for Willie.

And that may be what was so shocking here. Had this happened at The U or any number of always-under-investigation football factories, this scandal would have been appalling but not unexpected. But Penn State? Joe Pa? He was the coach, and this was the school, which was supposed to be better.

It is the greatness of what Paterno achieved over the fifty years which preceded 2011 which made these revelations such a gut punch. But let us remember the successes as well as the failure, and be open to the possibility that this was a moral failing and not an affirmative act of evil, or as Isaac wrote in an essay you must re-read today:

I think that Paterno, Curley, Schmidt, and Spanier have given Penn State no choice but to fire them, because the university cannot be seen as supporting or condoning their inaction in any way. But I would be lying to you, and to myself, if I said that I don't understand the impulse not to say anything or do anything. If there is any way to rationalize the behavior, to call the evidence inconclusive, or, failing that, to make it somebody else's responsibility, there is a powerful human instinct to do that. I like to think that if I saw someone raping a child, I would intervene and then go to the police, without regard to any possible consequences to me. But it's easy to say that. Until it happens – never, I hope – I won't know, and neither will you....

They failed as human beings in a way that had agonizing consequences for others. And I know that my initial reaction was that they are all criminals. But now, having thought a lot about it, I think that failing as a human being is not the same thing as being a bad human being. There is enough room for Paterno to have been wrong for not doing anything in 2002 (or maybe 1998) and also to have been honest when he said, in hindsight, that that is the greatest regret in his long and eventful life.

I'll let Joe Posnanski (from November) have the last word:

Paterno has paid a price here. His job is gone. His life’s work has been soiled. His reputation is in tatters. Maybe that should be the price. Maybe there should be more of a price. You don’t have to type: “Well, his price is nothing like the price of those victims…” I already know that.

But I think the way Joe Paterno has lived his life has earned him something more than instant fury, more than immediate assumptions of the worst, more than the happy cheers of critics who have always believed that there was something phony about the man and his ideals. He deserves what I would hope we all deserve — for the truth to come out, or, anyway, the closest thing to truth we can find.

I don’t think Joe Paterno has gotten that. And I think that’s sad.

The family has requested that in lieu of flowers and gifts, donations go to Special Olympics Pennsylvania and THON, the PSU student-run philanthropy battling pediatric cancer.

2012-01-21T15:00:00.000-05:00

WARDEN OF THE AFC NORTH: NFL conference championship previews by way of Game of Thrones, AFC and NFC editions.

2012-01-21T12:00:00.002-05:00

FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY: The Daily Beast compiles eight SNL musical performances allegedly worse than that one last week by that person that everyone's hatin' on who I basically know nothing about other than that she's got haters.

(Related: Ian Spanic reminds us that Spanic Boys really exist; the most obscure musical guests in SNL history.)

2012-01-20T17:58:00.002-05:00

THIS MAY POKE A HOLE IN ARISTOTLE'S LAW OF IDENTITY: When is Fausto Carmona not Fausto Carmona?

2012-01-20T17:11:00.002-05:00

I PREFER YOU/ALL NIGHT LONG: As you probably know, Etta James died this morning. She had been sick for some time, and had seemed to be in poor health for years, so it may not be a surprise, but it's sad all the same. Most of the headlines seem to mention "At Last," but I remember her less for that song, soulful classic though it deservedly is, and more for her bouncy, proto-funky R&B stuff, like I Prefer You. Rest in peace.

2012-01-20T16:55:00.001-05:00

ISIS CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR GLO-COAT: Mad Men + Archer = Sterling Archer Draper Pryce. Questionably SFW. (HT: Tara Ariano.)

2012-01-20T08:12:00.000-05:00

WHAT PART OF "LIFETIME APPOINTMENT" DON'T YOU GET, SIR? I recognize that I'm straddling a line here, but I figured folks needed to see that retired Justice John Paul Stevens appeared on The Colbert Report last night, and the nonagenarian was charming and game.

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

A SPECIAL REQUEST FOR THE ALOTT5MA FRIDAY PLAYLIST: Frequent commenter (and longtime friend of many here) Jenn is wondering: can you suggests some songs to be loaded onto an iPod playlist for her upcoming wedding reception?

I'll note that we've already done Songs That Compel You To Dance, and note that our general rule that "there's no event that can't be improved with Morris Day and the Time" is definitely in effect here.

2012-01-19T20:36:00.002-05:00

PERTAINING TO CONCLUSIONS FOR OVER 160 YEARS: According to Random House, "conclusory" has been a word since approximately 1840-1850. State court judges in the United States began using the word in 1908. In re Canakos, 111 N.Y.S. 601, 601 (Sup. Ct. App. Term 1908). Federal judges began using it in 1942. Guth v. Groves, 44 F. Supp. 851, 853 (S.D.N.Y. 1942). Now judges use it all the time -- in 943 cases reported in 2012 alone (according to a Lexis search), or in over 78 cases per work day, excluding court holidays. Because judges use the word "conclusory" when they define or make law, lawyers also have to use the word, though they don't need much coaxing. Lawyers use "conclusory" like bakers use flour.

Microsoft Word is the dominant word processing software used by lawyers. Microsoft Word has had spell-check since at least 1995.

According to Lexis, there are more than 3000 reported decisions* in which Microsoft is a party and the word "conclusory" appears in the text of the decision.

So why does Microsoft spell-check still stubbornly refuse to accept "conclusory" as a word?

2012-01-19T08:35:00.000-05:00

PREMORSE DESK: In honor of Betty White's 90th birthday this week, The Daily Beast slideshows a bunch of nonagenarian actors just to remind you they, too, aren't dead yet, and Mental Floss has audio of a radio play White did back in 1930.

2012-01-18T22:25:00.000-05:00

FROM THE SHOTGUN SHACK TO THE SUPERDOME: New BRUUUUUUUUCE! single. Album, tour to follow this year.

2012-01-18T17:43:00.001-05:00

MAN, WHO DRINKS A CHERRY COKE? We're all in agreement that Coca-Cola Freestyle is awesome, correct?

2012-01-18T17:05:00.003-05:00

CELEBRITY BOOKS AND WHY THE PERSON WHO GREENLIT THEM GREENLIGHTED THEM*:

Josh Radnor, One Big Blissful Thing: Never heard of, wanted to try ayahuasca, then got high enough to accidentally agree to publish this

Mike Doughty, The Book of Drugs: Editor loves Soul Coughing; was brutally savaged in book for saying so
Rob Lowe, Stories I Only Tell My Friends: Delivery vehicle for interior glossy photos of Rob Lowe
Jenny McCarthy, Louder than Words: A Mother’s Journey in Healing Autism: Terrorist plot to start rubella epidemic in Malibu
Nicole Polizzi, A Shore Thing: Tapping niche of embarrassing gifts from uncles and aunts who want to seem hip to 12-14 year-old nieces
Soleil Moon Frye, Happy Chaos: Looking for dirt on that creepy Henry guy
Tina Fey, Bossypants: Boss said had to put out at least one well-written book in 2011
Shania Twain, From This Moment On: Thought this was a book of prophecies

*Playing both sides of this conjugation here.

2012-01-18T16:36:00.000-05:00

COME ON IN, GUYS: Three reality items.

TLC will be re-airing the BBC3 series Undercover Princes and Undercover Princesses this winter. Both are, basically, Coming to America (Only It's In England): The Reality Show, and Wikipedia (I peeked) indicates that the royals in search of twue wuv in question hail from Africa, South Asia, and Europe, and it's more of a "follow them around" then a structured show with symbolic roses and whatnot. And that's a shame; we're enough removed in time from Joe Millionaire that a show which tries to pull it off in reverse should work.
Dalton Ross has the full scoop on format changes for the new Survivor season, and I like all of them -- no Redemption Island; tribes separated by gender but living on one beach; more complicated hidden immunity idol rules; and some contestant-run challenges. Of course, as always, it depends on the cast -- which, phew, includes no returning players.
Some singing show comes back tonight for its eleventh season. I cannot imagine paying attention until Hollywood Week, and even then, I feel like I've seen everything the show can do (and certainly with these non-judging judges). Unless there's remarkable talent, I think my Season Pass will be short-lived.

2012-01-18T12:11:00.002-05:00

UNRELIABLE NARRATOR PROBLEM: Does anyone particularly want to buy the memoir of Josh Radnor's "spiritual awakening" (which naturally involves "drinking an indigenous plant medicine called ayahuasca with a shaman in Brazil")? Anyone?

2012-01-18T09:05:00.001-05:00

Y'ALL CAN'T BE PLAYING NO CHECKERS ON NO CHESSBOARD: I have a feeling that one's opinion of The Wire's third episode, "The Buys," will rest upon whether D'Angelo's explanation of the rules of chess (and the drug trade) struck you as intelligent and gripping, or a bit anvil-heavy and too-clever-by half ...

Now, the king, he move one space any direction he damn choose, 'cause he's the king. Like this, this, this, a'ight? But he ain't got no hustle. But the rest of these motherfuckers on the team, they got his back. And they run so deep, he really ain't gotta do shit....

It wasn't just in that scene where I felt like the writers were underlining things a bit too heavily -- Stringer Bell's explanation of the new product; the unsuitability of some of the police officers at the scene of the raid; the frustrations of police bureaucracy.

These right here, these are the pawns. They like the soldiers. They move like this, one space forward only. Except when they fight, then it's like this. And they like the front lines, they be out in the field.

We get it, D. You're a pawn, hell, McNulty's a pawn too, and you both don't understand why the drug trade has to be so violent. ("Everything else in this country gets sold without people shooting each other behind it.") But Bubbles remains awesome. And I still don't remember the names of 2/3 of the pawns. I am still very much into the show, but I can't say that this episode lived up to its reputation.

administrative note: We've discussed whether folks are enjoying episodes so quickly that a deviation from the one-per-week recap format is justified. I remain open to your suggestions.

2012-01-18T00:01:00.021-05:00

CRAP. WHAT IF I FORGET THE BOOT ORDER OF SURVIVOR: HEROES V. VILLAINS? This blog, of course, takes no official position on the Stop Online Privacy Act and Protect IP Act, which promise to [ruin]/[save] the Internet as we know it by [kowtowing to]/[protecting the legitimate interests of] content creators such as [Edge]/[The Edge] by granting them [unprecedented and unjustified]/[necessary] powers to thwart the [free flow]/[theft] of their intellectual property.

Wikipedia has gone black for this 24h period in protest, however, and on that we as a blog have two roles to play: (1) please catalog here all the Wiki searches you're doing today before forgetting that you can't do them today, and (2) let us help you. Our hive mind isn't quite as large as The Entire Internet's, but we can half-ass a reasonable-sounding answer just as well as anyone else.

2012-01-17T23:23:00.002-05:00

WHY, IT'S MORE THAN WUNDERBAR!. Although Victor Garber seems destined never to return to Glee, we do have some theatrically nifty parental casting news. Joining Jeff Goldblum (as to whom I say "??") as 0ne of Rachel's dads is none other than Brian Stokes Mitchell, whose bombast in recent years seems quite directionally appropriate for this season's (not to mention tonight's episode's, in particular) whiplash.

2012-01-17T21:14:00.003-05:00

SPOILER ALERT: ANNE BOLEYN SHOULD NOT BUY ANY GREEN BANANAS: Linda Holmes laments that fiction by women does get reviewed, but women are rarely given the literary it-person superstar full monty.* I don't read enough book reviews to comment on that, but I will venture one prediction: the biggest literary it-person superstar full monties this year will go to Suzanne Collins (in the J.K. Rowling mass market lowbrow division for commercial domination) and Hillary Mantel (in the highbrow division).

As to the latter, consider this. Mantel's Wolf Hall, a sprawling, funny, sad novel about Thomas Cromwell's rise and Thomas More's decline, won the Man Booker Prize in 2009. The sequel, which presumably will cover the rest of Cromwell's life, is now due in May. I would say that Wolf Hall was the best book I read in the last five years, except that a few months ago, Amazon released A Place of Greater Safety, Mantel's incredible 2007 novel about the French Revolution, for the Kindle, and that may, may have been even better -- even funnier, sadder, and more sprawling than Wolf Hall.

Two swallows do not a summer make, I am told, and the 2012 results may not look, in the aggregate, much different from the 2011 numbers. All I'm saying is that my prediction is that the biggest it-person superstars this year are not going to be Brooklynites with ironic neck-beards.

*That's a verbatim quote, but the quotation marks are killing my HTML, so please don't accuse me of failing to quote and attribute.

2012-01-17T21:14:00.000-05:00

PLAY THE BLUES: An article in Wednesday's NYT on the Spider-Man producers' countersuit against original director Julie Taymor occasions a return to the ALOTT5MA Style Desk:

Bono, who worked with Ms. Taymor to develop “Spider-Man” for several years and had once called her “my close friend,” wrote an e-mail last Jan. 7 criticizing her for “shooting ideas down before taking time to understand them,” according to the producers’ lawsuit. (Bono wrote the score of the musical with his band mate the Edge.)

Isn't it "The Edge"? Or, perhaps, "Edge"? In the pleadings (a rollicking read), the producers' attorneys (from K&E) mostly use the former. Referring to him as "the Edge" just seems the wrong.

2012-01-17T14:51:00.002-05:00

THE KING STAY THE KING: Quick reminder that tomorrow is Wire Wednesday; do watch "The Buys" and be prepared to discuss.

2012-01-17T09:17:00.000-05:00

THE GREATEST: Muhammad Ali turns 70 today.

When ESPN did their SportsCentury list of the top 100 athletes of the 20th Century, Ali came in third behind Michael Jordan and Babe Ruth. I think you can make a legitimate case for six of the athletes in the top seven (which also includes Gretzky, Owens, and Thorpe), but I still think they got it wrong. (At a minimum, it shouldn't have been Jordan, who did not do to his sport's record books or overall popularity what Ruth or Gretzky did, and who carried none of the burdens of Ali, Owens, or Thorpe.)

2012-01-17T08:01:00.000-05:00

THE PUPPY-BASKET OF LATE-NIGHT TALK-SHOW HOSTS: The AV Club's Steve Hyden pens an appreciation of Jimmy Fallon:

Jimmy Fallon isn’t the funniest man in late-night; that’s still a toss-up between Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. But Fallon doesn’t try to compete for that distinction. His greatest, most unique gift as a late-night personality is that he doesn’t have to be funny to be entertaining. There are episodes of Late Night where I’m pretty sure I never laughed out loud once. I don’t know if I can recall a single Fallon one-liner off the top of my head. Nobody is going to accuse Fallon of being a comic genius. This is a good thing. Not being saddled with that baggage seems to make Fallon a lot more relaxed than his peers. Compared with the sweat-drenched desperation that’s so obviously apparent in Jay Leno or even the all-time favorite of comedy nerdom, O’Brien—the compulsive need to always be funny that’s alienating when the comedy isn’t working—Fallon is appealing in the manner of the popular kid in school. Yes, his good looks and confidence might make you hate him at first, but after a while, it’s just nice to be around someone who’s comfortable in his own skin.

2012-01-16T23:50:00.000-05:00

BECAUSE YOU KNOW JUST WHAT TO SAY: Lionel Richie's "Hello," the motion picture supercut.

2012-01-16T15:01:00.000-05:00

THE O.D.B. COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE COMMITTED ALL THOSE CRIMES. COOLIO DID SOME OF THAT SHIT: Chris Rock's insistent words in "No Sex in the Champagne Room" may not have quite been correct. Russell Jones' FBI file has been FOIAed and released, and apparently Wu-Tang was not exclusively for the children: in 1999, the FBI was contemplating indicting all 36 chambers of the Clan under RICO for crimes it allegedly committed as an organization.

2012-01-16T09:50:00.000-05:00

THERE WILL BE PEACE 4 THOSE WHO LOVE GOD A LOT: Graffiti Bridge is airing on the Encore channel today, and I couldn't help but wonder: is there a movie with a more skewed ratio of Quality of Soundtrack: Quality of Film? If we can establish the metric where this film represents 1.0 GBs and The Graduate is 0 GBs (film and soundtrack are equally good), is Trainspotting at 0.2 GBs? Does any film exceed 1.0 GBs?

2012-01-14T21:40:00.001-05:00

THIS CHAMBER SUPPORTS MATH: I spent this weekend at the [No Politics Rule] state committee meeting to lead a training on [that stuff I do], but I need to remark on one element of the endorsement meeting for statewide candidates held at the end. According to Rule 16 of the rules governing the meeting, endorsement by the Party required "a two-thirds majority, 66 percent of the total votes cast."

So you can imagine my delight (really, given my history you can) that a state committee member from the south-central part of the Commonwealth rose on a point of order to suggest that 66% was actually short of two-thirds, and that only 66 2/3% should be deemed sufficient to qualify a candidate for endorsement. Her point was, thank goodness, accepted by the chair.

2012-01-14T11:13:00.000-05:00

TEBOWIE: Jimmy Fallon awesomeness, again. (Open thread for all football discussion this weekend.)

2012-01-13T16:06:00.002-05:00

IT'S ALL IN THE GAME, YO (ANSWER KEY): Answers for the least-played game of all time, Wire Character or Real Person or Non-Wire Fictitious Character or Product or Thing after the jump. Newbies: to prevent spoilers, I will identify Wire characters by affiliation (e.g., "Barksdale Organization" or "Felix Arellano Cartel") but will not say anything about their role or characterization.

Sherman McCoy: Fictive! Bond trader, Bonfire of the Vanities.

Shamrock McGinty: Wire! Barksdale organization.

Pepper Schwartz: Real! Famous sex researcher.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson: Real! Football player, New York Jets.

Fat Face Rick: Wire! Co-op.

Disco Duck: Fictive! Novelty song title-character.

Proposition Joe: Wire! East Side.

Stinky Pete: Fictive! Toy Story 2. This is who I think of every time Spacewoman calls Prop Joe "Prospector Joe."

Ant-Man: Fictive! Hilariously underpowered and insecure Marvel superhero.

Cockroach: Fictive! Theo Huxtable best friend, The Cosby Show. Also: Thing! Insect.

Spider: Wire! Stanfield organization. Also: Thing! Arachnid.

Frog: Wire! Docks-area crime. Also: Thing! Amphibian.

Bug: Wire! Child. Also: Thing! Bug.

Donut: Wire! Child. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Cheese: Wire! East Side. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Churro: Thing! Delicious.

Big Tuna: Fictive! Jim Halpert, The Office.

Fruit: Wire! Stanfield organization. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Sunny D: Product! Sugared beverage. Would also accept: Fictive! Nobody calls it that.

Puddin': Wire! Barksdale. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Boner: Fictive! Mike Seaver's best friend, Growing Pains. Also: Thing! Erection.

Squeak: Wire! Barksdale organization ladies' auxiliary.

Mike Boogie: Real! Club impresario/Big Brother contestant.

Snot Boogie: Wire! Neighborhood person. Also: Real! According to the book Homicide.

Boogie Shoes Whitaker: Fictive! Showrunner, Sports Night (the show-within-a-show, not the show).

Billy White Shoes Johnson: Real! Oilers/Falcons football player, Funky Chicken infection vector.

Mr. Schue: Fictive! Rapper.

Wee Man: Real! Jackass skateboarder/stunt person.

Little Man: Wire! Barksdale organization.

Little Kevin: Wire! Stanfield organization.

Li'l Abner: Fictive! Comic-strip hillbilly; 1930s-and '40s-style "confirmed bachelor."

Big Roy: Wire! Docks.

Big Boi: Real! OutKast.

Big Country: Real! Large basketball player. Also: Real! Unintelligible band.

Hungry Man: Real! Co-op. Also: Product! Prepared meal.

Nikos Kazantzakis: Real! Author, poet.

Toula Portakalos: Fictive! Bride, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

White Mike: Wire! East Side.

Black Francis: Real! Pixies.

Johnny Quest: Fictive! Johnny Quest.

Johnny Fifty: Wire! Docks.

Johnny Weeks: Wire! West Side.

Johnny Ola: Fictive! Godfather 2. Would also accept: Sopranos.

Johnny Sack: Fictive! Sopranos.

Lassie: Fictive! Dog.

Ziggy: Wire! Docks. Also: Fictive! Comic strip philosopher.

Woodstock: Fictive! Peanuts.

Horse-Face: Wire! Docks.

Two-Face: Fictive! Batman.

Old-Face Andre: Wire! Stanfield organization.

2012-01-13T11:06:00.002-05:00

EVERYBODY HOP IN THE DELOREAN: Particularly since I'm not a big sports person, perhaps my favorite feature at Grantland is "Rembert Explains the 80s," in which the older members of Grantland's staff select a YouTube video from the 80s for 24 year-old writer Rembert Browne to watch and comment on. This week, he takes on a random episode of Double Dare. Prior installments have included such 80s artifacts as ALF, Manimal, and Bosom Buddies, and are collected here.

2012-01-13T10:58:00.004-05:00

IT'S ALL IN THE GAME, YO: Vets and newbies, Barksdales and Natural Police, Greeks and Docks: It's time to engage in that timeless pastime, Wire Character or Real Person or Non-Wire Fictitious Character or Product or Thing?. Newbies: no commentary here, but if you consider names to be spoilers, don't play. The Internet is cheating.

Sherman McCoy

Shamrock McGinty

Pepper Schwartz

D'Brickashaw Ferguson

Fat Face Rick

Disco Duck

Proposition Joe

Stinky Pete

Ant-Man

Cockroach

Spider

Frog

Donut

Cheese

Churro

Big Tuna

Fruit

Sunny D

Puddin'

Boner

Squeak

Mike Boogie

Snot Boogie

Boogie Shoes Whitaker

Billy White Shoes Johnson

Mr. Schue

Wee Man

Little Man

Little Kevin

Li'l Abner

Big Roy

Big Boi

Big Country

Hungry Man

Nikos Kazantzakis

Toula Portakalos

White Mike

Black Francis

Johnny Quest

Johnny Fifty

Johnny Weeks

Johnny Ola

Johnny Sack

Lassie

Ziggy

Woodstock

Horse-Face

Two-Face

Old-Face Andre

2012-01-13T10:22:00.003-05:00

HER SMILE THAT REMINDS YOU OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES IS NOT PROBATIVE EVIDENCE: Somehow, W. Axl Rose managed to get on a civil jury in California, which apparently reached verdict rather than spending 15 years arguing about what the verdict should say and who should be included in the credits.

2012-01-13T08:43:00.000-05:00

1 ACROSS, FIVE LETTERS: "JENNA MARONEY'S FIRST NAME": Welcome back, 30 Rock. I missed you. (Favorite freeze-frame: on the movie theater marquee: "The Help 2: Still Helpin'"). And the Timeless Torches is a real thing.

2012-01-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

RES IPSA LOQUITOR: The CW has ordered ten episodes of an "extreme musical chairs" game show it is titling ... wait for it ... Oh Sit!

2012-01-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

THIS DOCUMENT DOES NOT ADVOCATE OR CONDONE THE EXTINCTION OR BETRAYAL OF EWOKS: Exactly what happened to the mass of debris created by the destruction of the Second Death Star, so close to the Forest Moon of Endor? Theoretical astrophysicist Curtis Saxton explains (and that the article is titled "Ewok Holocaust" may spoil the ending), and it's one of six movies discussed in Cracked's 6 Horrible Aftermaths Implied By Movies With Happy Endings.

2012-01-11T22:54:00.000-05:00

THAT'S A DEALBREAKER: Quick recommendation to pass along, which I learned via Isaac and Spaceboy 1.0 during my visit to Greater Fairyland last fall—if you've got a child age 7+, Monopoly Deal is a super-addictive card game involving tons of strategery, and is a great gateway drug to Monopoly proper. Isaac will appreciate that by Game 3, she already was playing a Just Say No to my Just Say No on a Dealbreaker.

If you have recommendations for games, toys and whatnot for the young ones, or slightly older or younger ones, do share.

2012-01-11T08:25:00.001-05:00

SOMETIMES STATE QUARTERS KNEW ABRAHAM LINCOLN IN HIS YOUNGER DAYS, WHEN HE STILL WENT BY DICK WHITMAN: The Hairpin reviews the fifty state quarters (and DC), as we did in November 2008.