Friday, June 10, 2011

I'LL TAKE SPORTS HYPERBOLE FOR $400, ALEX:  You might have thought it was ridiculous (or entertaining as hell) to compare LeBron James to a Salvador Dali chair, but it's still much more rational than this:
Charles Barkley, as vocal a critic as the Heat has had all season, asked Thursday for everyone to please back off of LeBron. And here’s what TNT’S Steve Kerr said, too:

“He’s got more pressure on him than anybody in the history of sports. It is bizarre and unfortunate. I feel so sorry for him.”
Okay, let's see: Jesse Owens, 1936; Jackie Robinson, 1947; Hank Aaron, 1973-74; anyone ever coached by Bela Karolyi; the Aztec and Mayan athletes in that Mesoamerican quasi-basketball game where members of the losing team were sacrificed to appease the gods ....

24 comments:

  1. Adlai6:32 PM

    Katniss Everdeen.

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  2. The Pathetic Earthling6:37 PM

    Dora the Explorer.

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=403431973181&set=a.86454598181.82381.551608181&type=1&theater

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  3. Duvall6:44 PM

    Reality television, not sports.

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  4. I don't think Jesse Owens, Jackie Robinson or any of the above had a 30-min special about where they were going to play and how their choice was driven mostly by a desire to win a championship.  He brought it on himself so no, don't back off. 

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  5. MidwestAndrew7:01 PM

    Michael Jordan in Space Jam. If he lost, he would be a slave to the opposing team's manager, losing intentionally to terrible little children. I don't think LeBron has those stakes in this situation.

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  6. Jordan7:04 PM

    Kirk Gibson

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  7. Adlai7:11 PM

    What's the difference, I ask ontologically?

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  8. Adlai7:11 PM

    What's the difference, I ask ontologically?

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  9. isaac_spaceman7:13 PM

    Bobby Riggs, when he played that lady

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  10. Adam C.7:37 PM

    <span>Sure, Jesse Owens and Everdeen are strong calls, but you're all forgetting the three most pressure-packed sports performances of all time, in increasing order of pressure:  </span>
    <span>
    1) Paul Crewe, The Longest Yard (the original, thankyouverymuch)  
    2) Robert Hatch, Victory  
    3) Darren McCord, Sudden Death  </span>
    <span>
    I mean, come on.  He's a Pittsburgh Civic Arena fireman, who at one point in the film has to suit up as goalie in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals to outwit terrorist mastermind Powers Boothe, who has kidnapped his daughter.  Suck it, LeBron.</span>

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  11. Imagine if Ivan Drago had lost his exhibition match with Apollo Creed.  I imagine he'd have been sent straight to Siberia.

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  12. The Pathetic Earthling8:41 PM

    As an aside, we need more Powers Boothe.  And we need more Treat Williams, too.

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  13. Eric J.9:09 PM

    I thought our current levels of Michael Ironside meant we didn't need any more Powers Boothe.

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  14. Anonymous12:38 AM

    Any goalie for the Detroit Red Wings for the last 20 years.

    --bd

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  15. Fred App9:27 AM

    It's certainly true that there are many other people in the history of sport who have been under more pressure. But I'd argue that LeBron is under NO pressure. He was under pressure in Cleveland, when he was expected to carry the team to a championship. But that pressure disappeared when he went to Miami and became second fiddle to D-Wade. The guy under the most pressure on that team is the coach. He gets no credit if he wins a championship, because it's assumed he will. He'll get hammered (and probably fired) if he doesn't. 

    Is that more pressure than anyone in the history of sports? Of course not. But it's more than LeBron.

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  16. Joseph J. Finn10:16 AM

    What kind of cracks me up on this is the mini-obsession the podcast people at DVD Verdict have with Sudden Death and why it's not had a Blu-Ray release yet (they've even done a commentary for it).  It's a weird tic that never fails to amuse me.

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  17. I'm reminded of the line attributed to Goldman Sachs's Lloyd Blankfein during the financial crisis. This is from James Stewart's account:

    <span>At 11AM, for the fourth consecutive day, investment bankers filed into the New York Fed. “I don’t think I can take another day of this, a Goldman banker told Lloyd Blankfein as they got out of the Goldman car.</span>
    <span>
    “You’re getting out of a Mercedes to go to the New York Federal Reserve,” Blankfein responded. “You’re not getting out of a Higgins boat on Omaha Beach.”</span>

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  18. Adam C.11:28 AM

    Re: Ironside and Boothe:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092997/

    I hope I didn't just blow your minds.

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  19. Watchman12:01 PM

    Can we get a "love" button?  Like isn't good enough for that quote.

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  20. sconstant4:28 PM

    Soccer goalies playing for national teams that are playing against hated rivals or that rarely make it to the World Cup but have this year.

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  21. lisased1:21 AM

    Cal Ripken. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

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