Saturday, March 12, 2011

YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU MAY ABOUT ANYONE:  Gene Weingarten complains that Our National Anthem is "a mess":
15 dangling clauses that seem more or less mix-and-match interchangeable (Oh, say! can you see/through the perilous fight/o'er the land of the free/by the dawn's early light ... ), all of it amounting to a single, convoluted question that is then ... not answered. The printed lyrics actually end in a question mark.

Does the flag still wave? As yet undetermined! The answer doesn't arrive until the second stanza, which no one knows because it is mostly sung in creepy, hyper-patriotic gatherings of, say, ladies who are direct descendants of Cotton Mather, or during secret Masonic initiation rites involving men wearing aprons.
So the double-Pulitzered Weingarten does the only thing he can: write a new National Anthem, setting the guarantees of the Bill of Rights to the tune of the William Tell Overture, and has Christine Lavin test out how it sounds. "If you're popped by a cop, then you get a trial/Army troops won't be cooped in your domicile" just may catch on.

15 comments:

  1. I've always thought that "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" is the most stirring national song and would make a great anthem, but of course the overly religious overtones disqualify it.

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  2. Was the song was composed specifically with a thought in mind that it may one day become the national anthem? I didn't think it was- therefore I am OK with its relative lack of unsingability- perhaps the thought was it would be primarily played by bands. Because it sounds great fully orchestrated with no vocals at all. And weren't the lyrics a poem first? The make a lot more sense on the printed page.

    I love its wide range and the fact that to really do it justice, you have to be somewhat trained. It's the NATIONAL ANTHEM, so it needs to be on a higher level. I am a purist... I detest those who melisma the hell out of it and mis-phrase it by taking breaths where the lyric indicates it should carry over. It's thrilling to hear it sung expertly and by someone who really knows what they're doing. It's a travesty when someone craps all over that by wailing and whooping only for effect.

    I undertand that others may feel that the converse is true- that the song representing the whole country should have the potential to be decently sung by the average person (see "O Canada").  The community spirit engendered by everyone singing together and feeling OK about it cannot be denied- just like a congregation raising the roof at a hymn-sing.

    I don't think it will ever be changed so I'm not sure what the best solution is. Just sing like nobody's watching!

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  3. * should read "relative lack of SINGABILITY. Sorry!

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  4. Best thing about the Bill of Rights anthem: no place for Orioles fans to shout the O.

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  5. Oops. Comment #4 was me. My fiancée logged me off of my account.

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  6. Joseph J. Finn12:35 PM

    What, there's a problem with a section about how "Christ was born across the sea?"  (But how I do love that song; I have a lovely live version of it by Joan Baez.)

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  7. Joseph J. Finn12:37 PM

    Sorry, I can't get on board with a song with a melody that always makes me think of the great werewolf hunter The Long Ranger.  Nice to see Christine Lavin, though; I've been listening to her lately since her song "<span>"Regretting What I Said to You When You Called Me 11:00 On a Friday Morning to Tell Me that at 1:00 Friday Afternoon You're Gonna Leave Your Office, Go Downstairs, Hail a Cab to Go Out to the Airport to Catch a Plane to Go Skiing in the Alps for Two Weeks, Not that I Wanted to Go With You, I Wasn't Able to Leave Town, I'm Not a Very Good Skier, I Couldn't Expect You to Pay My Way, But After Going Out With You for Three Years I DON'T Like Surprises!! Subtitled: A Musical Apology" was talked about on Pop Culture Happy Hour.</span>

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  8. Marsha3:31 PM

    Finn, did you just discover Christine Lavin? Oh, you're in for a treat. "Regretting What I Said" is a persoanl favorite of mine (I even arranged it for my law school a cappella group) but I can give you a best-of list if you like.

    Nice to see Christine getting this great exposure. She's the perfect person to show off this very amusing "anthem."

    Nancy, I'm kind of with you. I like that it's hard, though I really hate the way it gets butchered. But I also love O Canada, so I could really be happy either way.

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  9. Marsha3:32 PM

    I hit "post" too quickly - I meant to also say that we already have a perfect song to be our national anthem - America the Beautiful, which is beautiful, singable, and talks about law!

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  10. Wait--hasn't Sondheim already written Another National Anthem?  (Clip contains strong language and NPH.)

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  11. Joseph J. Finn5:24 PM

    Yes, but it can't get into the ballpark.

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  12. Joseph J. Finn6:08 PM

    I knew of her "Sensitive New Age Man" song, but nothing else before recently.

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  13. Have to admit I'm not crazy about the national anthem parody, but I do like Lavin.  My favorite bit is her duet with John Forster on "Way Down Deep (You're Shallow)", but mostly because I like to believe that Lavin wrote it about Forster, who I find irritating, and that he didn't realize it.  Probably that's not the case.

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