Wednesday, January 5, 2011

FROM THE ALOTT5MA CONTEMPORARY ANTHROPOLOGY DESK:  Okay, gang, guess the year in which this observation of an apparently novel cultural ritual was recorded:
There is this strange custom called a "Keg Stand" that all kids evidently do now. You stand next to the keg, put both hands on the side of the keg, have two others lift your legs so that you're upside down, and, at that point, a third person takes the beer nozzle from the keg and puts it in your mouth while you drink it. A fourth person pumps the keg. And everyone counts the seconds you can last. (Dumb me, I didn't even know what this thing was, and it's apparently the most common of drinking games.) I didn't do it, thankfully.... Drinking upside-down. What a country.
If you guessed "2011," congratulations to you and SI's Peter King, who's all caught up on what the kids are doing these days.

Update!  God bless Twitter, because @SI_PeterKing answered my question:
RT @adambonin: Was that really the first keg-stand you ever witnessed? Did you participate? ... Yes /// No. Absolutely not. Scared me.

8 comments:

  1. looking italian8:05 AM

    "What a country" is a really nice touch.  In Soviet Russia, keg stands on you.

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  2. King was too busy looking up what "sexting" meant to determine if he really had to write that story about Brett Favre.

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  3. mhgatti9:15 AM

    Don't nobody tell him about beer pong.

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  4. Eric J.9:48 AM

    He's apparently familiar with what we call "quarters" but refers to it as "doubloons."

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  5. Yumpin' yiminys. At my cousin's graduation party last year my mom was the only one of her 60-something year old siblings NOT to do a keg stand.  Oh, Peter King.

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  6. isaac_spaceman11:10 AM

    Hard to think of a person who failed upward more spectacularly than Peter King. 

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  7. This is a joke of some kind.  There is no way that man does not know what a keg stand is.  You don't report on college athletics without learning this sort of thing -- okay, query if King can be credited as a "reporter" -- fair enough.  But moreover, you just don't build a body and mind like King's without at least a five year period of relative intimacy with keg stands and the environments in which keg stands occur.

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  8. isaac_spaceman9:49 PM

    I do think that before Peter King's recent discovery of the fitness craze (jogging? it might be called yogging, I'm not sure), the notion of people lifting him up by his hips and legs just for drinking-related purposes might have seemed a bit exotic to him. 

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