On to the sexy-walking, the ass-groping, and the pants-splitting:
The Good:
- Randi & Evan. Mia Michaels likes powerful dancers with muscular thighs and strong shoulders, so you knew she was going to like Randi. Randi looks like Jessica Capshaw and talks like Jessica Stein (without the annoying), and she's been such a surprise ever since she ditched the Stick It! unitard-and-haircut schtick. She and Evan have feel-good chemistry and were mostly synchronized, and it was an interesting idea.
- Ade & Melissa. Some cool tricks, like when he spun her around in her split (the Rotating Single Lohan), and they seemed to like each other, but this kind of dance never gets me. All the baroquely stylized walking and hand-waving and open-chested jumpsuits. It's $4.99 worth of sequins away from being the kind of thing Baz Luhrmann was lampooning in Strictly Ballroom. No way Melissa is 29, by the way, and what's the deal with the Chapman-to-SYTYCD pipeline?
- Jason & Caitlin. They were believably angry, which surprised me a little. Also, Caitlin's balance is a nice trick -- a one-footed stand on Jason's thigh; some stop-start handstanding -- but I'm getting used to it. What I missed in this paso doble was the whole thing about the woman being the cape -- there was a lot of dance-fighting, but none of the flinging around of the woman that I've come to expect of my SYTYCD paso dobles.
- Kayla & Kapono. I probably shouldn't say he was bad, but I didn't watch him for a second. Kayla seems not particularly smart or interesting to me, but when she dances she is riveting. Every angle she makes with her legs seems completely effortless, like it's the most natural thing in the world to hold your legs at 170-degrees east-west while your partner jostles you vigorously, then unfurl slowly, without the hint of a hamstring quiver, to 180-degrees north-south for a change of pace. There was a point at which Kapono was spinning her and yanked her off-center, and she just did a tiny little adjustment to get back on her axis without missing a beat. I think it's too bad she's so low-key offstage, because being the best dancer isn't necessarily what gets you the most votes.
- Brandon & Janette. He really carried this with his high-energy hip hop. Janette mostly just stood around looking like Lita Ford without her BC Rich.
- Philip & Janine. I'm not wild about Tyce Diorio or Broadway in general, but I did like this routine. The feathers were an excellent prop, in large part because they (and the baby doll dress, which works for Janine in a way that last Thursday's Danskin bondage gear does not) supported the character Janine was playing, and Janine really sold it. Philip was not embarassing, but none of his choreography so far has shown off his best assets, his rubbery body and viscous movement.
- Karla & Jonathan. The judges still haven't given Karla enough credit. If you just watched her, she did a great job, as she has every week. It's Jonathan who sucked the life out of this routine with his sluggishness and his softness. Karla hit every beat, did nice stops, and had plenty of energy. The women are better than the men this season, and Kayla and Karla are the ones who are suffering from it the most.
- Vitolio & Asuka. This routine just seemed to have a lot of waiting around. Asuka in particular seemed to hit her marks and then look around for Vitolio (anagram: Tivo Oil) to pick her up or spin her. There was not a lot of energy and Asuka already has Killer Fatigue.
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