#59 - A FIVE-MINUTE HIGHLIGHT REEL FEATURING A COLOR COMMENTATOR AND PLAY-BY-PLAY ANALYSIS IN THE STYLE OF A CLASSIC ANNOUNCER. THE SPORT? MEDIEVAL TIMES: DINNER AND TOURNAMENT: Last weekend, the annual University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt was held. Here's this year's nineteen page list of items (PDF), with favorites including:
24. Walk through an automatic car wash dressed as Captain Cutler's Ghost. You would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for that spot free rinse. [10 points]
45. Sure, the latest Indiana Jones movie sucked, but those Crystal Skulls were undeniably awesome; perhaps they'll make appearances in other famous franchises? To start the crossovers, bring us one of Dan Aykroyd's crystal heads signed by a bona de Ghostbuster. [10 points for Ray, 20 points for Venkman, Egon, Winston, or Louis]
69. This one time I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up my pillow was gone. I would so like to see that pillow again. Err, on second thought, bring me a new marshmallow pillow, along with its non-marshmallow pillowcase. [15 points]
101. Many a man thinketh that it is less than noble when We, the Judges, writeth items that are in the fashion of items of yesteryear. Never mindeth that much of these are born to be great, or that many a man completeth them with earnest fervor, if it must be so, if all items which are not completely new are by their very nature ignoble, then I giveth thee such an item without pretense, a repetition that dost not pretend to be noble--I giveth thee the Blagojevich coif. Or, rather, his stylist shall. [6 points]
129. Commies really do conspire to rule America, you know. Prove it with a one dollar bill bearing a serial number as close as possible to the longitude and latitude of Moscow. [10 points for being within 100 miles, 10 bonus points for being the closest]
163. There's a Brooklyn cocktail, a Bronx, and of course a Manhattan . . . but what about Queens and Staten Island? Your chief mixologist should concoct a fitting recipe to honor one of these long-suffering boroughs. [3 points]
192. A shtekeleh. [7 points]
234. You don't want to be just another asshole with prints of Starry Night and Dali's clocks plastered indiscriminately across your walls, do you? Demonstrate your worldly tastes and obvious class by reproducing one of Damien Hirst's major installations in your dorm room. You can scale it down, but will it still be art? [15 points]
243. Have the Bad Horse Singers deliver a message to your favorite Evil MacArthur Genius. [20 points]
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