A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

JASON CASTRO, ROSETTA STONE SALESMAN: Song choice, people. As soon as I saw the spoilered list of songs for tonight, I pretty much predicted the whole show:

• Ramielle violated one of the ten commandments of Idol -- thou shalt not attempt a song that another competitor previously owned. She is not Carrie Underwood, 'k?
  
• Chikezie and Syesha picked perfect songs for themselves, and Syesha's experiments with the subjunctive tense rocked the house.
• Clifford the Crunchy Muppet stayed resolutely, somewhat boringly in his wheelhouse of mellow songs in multiple languages.
• Bubbly Brooke White has no idea what "Every Breath You Take" is actually about, and just couldn't sell the song or do anything interesting with it.
• Michael Johns again can't condense a multi-section lengthy song into a coherent 90 second greatest stanzas version, but hit his notes, dawg.
  
• "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is about turning that corner and nailing the chorus. Carly Smithson didn't. She shouted, and she completely blew the bridge:
  

Together we can take make it to the end of the line night
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're You're living in a powder keg like a power key (?) and giving off sparks

• I have no idea what Young David Archuleta sang. "You're The Voice"? Reminded me of that week Chris Sligh sang Mute Math. I know he's going to win the competition, but I'd like to see him earn it a few weeks.
• Kristy Lee Cook makes me want to move to Canada. But sappy Lee Greenwood will get her to the next round -- for her, a great song choice. But she still sucks.
• David Cook ... well, when I saw he'd be singing "Billie Jean," I knew he'd be reworking it somehow. I did not predict he'd make it sound like a Creed song. I did not like it, and this will be a real test of his audience support. (Okay, but the judges loved it. I guess they sense YDA's vulnerability and want to promote challengers to the crown?) (And Randy: he's not the most original/innovative performer you've ever had -- I believe your show had a beat-boxer last season.)
  

Fienberg: "Are we supposed to believe that it's a coincidence that the recent song order went Aussie, Irish lass, half-Honduran and then Kristy singing about being American? Ew. This is just pandering. Stop staring into the camera and preaching to me about patriotism, Kristy. I'm proud to be an American too, but gracious me. Is there an untapped core of dedicated conservatives who have been waiting for a moment like this to vote for American Idol? Actually, I'll bet there are. This is probably the nail in Ramiele's coffin, in fact. "

Dan also correctly points out -- and I've heard it before, so I'm upset with myself that I forgot it -- that David Cook was actually covering Chris Cornell's cover of "Billie Jean", making him just as original as Chris Daughtry covering Live's cover of "Walk the Line". [e.t.a. Okay, so apparently they made it clear during the show as well. This is what I get for FFing whenever it's not a performance or a critique.]

At risk: Ramiele, Chikezie, Carly.