I DON'T THINK HE'LL BE SETTLING THIS ONE: You've probably seen Jonathan Lee Riches' suit against Michael Vick, claiming that Vick stole Riches' (a federal prisoner!) dogs, violated Riches' copyright in his name, stole his identity, has bought weapons from Iran, and sworn allegience to Al Qaeda, and demanding "$63,000,000,000.00 billion dollars backed by gold and silver delivered in an 'UPS'" to him. You might have missed Riches' earlier suit, which begins as a normal prisoner lawsuit (naming every member of the Bush administration as defendants), but then branches out (in 57 increasingly bizarre pages) to celebrities (Tony Danza, Jessica Alba, "Shawn John Combs d/b/a Puff Daddy d/b/a Mr. Ditty," Charlie Sheen, "Philadelphia Eagles, 2005 Roster, Including Donovan McNabb), the geographic (Saudi Arabia, "Jewish State of Israel," Mount Rushmore, Green Bay's Lambeau Field), and the nonsensical ("Jewish Workers at NBC Universal," "Thirteen Tribes of Israel," "Mein Kampf," "Nordic Gods").
The case was dismissed for failure to serve/prosecute (and how does one serve the Nordic Gods, anyway? Care of Marvel Comics?), and in an appeal statement, Riches claimed that was because he had been in a deep "trance-like state" approaching a coma for a year and a half and was unable to respond or review his mail.