Tuesday, April 3, 2007

YA GOTTA KEEP 'EM SEPARATED: Oh, where to begin, where to begin. How about with cleavage: boobal separation is never acceptable. Or perhaps with blasphemy: Tony Bennett is a doddering old man. Or maybe with some oogies: I thought Lakisha was going to lick the camera at the end of her performance.

I have no particular insight as to whether this will finally be the week in which The Universe of Sanjaya implodes. Assuming that it isn't, I have to think that Phil and Gina will find themselves firmly on the chopping block. Phil sounded positively funereal and Gina was just kind of boring. Or maybe I was just distracted by the Bride of Frankenstein stitches running along the top of her skull. (Who is styling this girl?) Haley's slightly schizophrenic performance proved, at least, that she has perfected the staccato forward shoulder shrug that I seem to recall working well for Kelly Clarkson during Big Band Week.

I particularly enjoyed Chris Richardson this week. Also Blake, even though the slightly afterlifelike aspect of all his performances is a little disconcerting. Melinda was her usual impeccable self, although if girlfriend doesn't show that she can hit something contemporary out of the park, I'm not sure she won't accidentally get knocked off some week. Jordin didn't move me, and I'm so over Lakisha. (I was never really under Lakisha, but she's lost whatever good will I had toward her.)

As for Tony Bennett: well, I'm glad for him that he thinks Charlie Chaplin wrote a nice song and Chris Richardson would benefit from learning his lyrics. Where's Barry??

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