Wednesday, February 7, 2007

DO SOMETHING MANLY ... GULP DOWN SOME MO -- SOME MOTOR OIL, DEFINITELY ... SOMETHING YOU NEVER EXPECT TO GET ...: Hi, I'm Isaac, and I'll be moderating the third panel today in ALOTT5MA's Symposium on Sports and Homosexuality. As Alex mentioned, the "do something manly" Snickers Superbowl commercial will never air again, since the sum of [Americans who find "men kissing" side-splittingly and mouth-wateringly catastropic but are at the same time not repulsed by the depiction of homosexuality] + [Americans whose appetites are not adversely affected by homosexuality but who are commercially aroused by the notion that the horribleness of men kissing is comically awful] apparently = zero. I could have guessed.

That doesn't mean, though, that you should be deprived of the hilarity of the two superbowl teams awkwardly reacting to the commercial. Highlights include:
  • Rex Grossman theorizing that "some people who don't really like football watch the Superbowl for the commercials ... those type of people are really going to like this commercial";
  • Muhsin Muhammad's dead-eyed explanation that "when their lips touched, that's hilarious right there";
  • Marvin Harrison's "mm--mm--mm--mmm," which is so awesome because it sounded like the hungry noise Thelma made when she was trying to get her hooks into Reverend Reuben on "Amen," i.e., not how I think Harrison intended it to sound;
  • Cato June's traumatized recollection that "I thought they were going to stop, you know, at some point -- two men ... that's not right"; and especially
  • Harrison again, looking like he would chew off his own leg to get out of the interview, blurting out that he's a "car guy," stammering that "the end result definitely blew my mind," and then looking away for a split-second like he was choking back tears.
High comedy. By the way, as Spacewoman said, that was the most ill-conceived ad in every respect since the Apprentice contestants did Sex Cucumber. Is there a single person reading this blog who couldn't have come up with a better spot on which to spend $2.5 million?

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