Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I DO TAKE THE PHUN OUT OF EVERYTHING: I suppose I should be happy that the Phillie Phanatic was inducted in the inaugural class of the Mascot Hall of Fame today along with The Famous Chicken and the Phoenix Gorilla, but, well, this isn't that blog:

  1. Just what is the "Mascot Hall of Fame"? It's a creation of the Raymond Entertainment Group, which is owned by David Raymond, the originator of the Phillie Phanatic. It's a level of self-dealing so egregious that Pete Rose would slam it as unethical. And then bet on next year's results.
  2. Granted, the Gorilla is, as Kornheiser noted today, the greatest athlete ever to wear a mascot uniform. But how does he get in before the Stanford Tree, Otto the Orange or the highly underrated Wally the Green Monster?
  3. That article about the ceremonies, on the Phillies' official site, notes that the ceremonies took place in downtown Philadelphia at "14th and JFK Boulevard". Um, come again? There is no 14th Street in Philadelphia -- it's Broad Street. Argh!
  4. The Chicago School point: shouldn't a mascot have to retire before being considered for induction? Don't we want to incentivize mascot growth and development, and hold out a carrot to older mascots to move on and make way for the next generation?
  5. Speaking of which: it's not that the Phanatic hasn't developed new shtick in decades that annoys me. He's there for new generations of kids, not for me. But why does he have to do this limp-wristed, gay-bashing thing all the time to mock opposing players for allegedly being effeminate? Suppose one in every twenty boys at each game will, at some point in his life, believe that he is gay. Wouldn't it be nice for that kid not to grow up thinking that he won't be made fun of for it? Why does the Phanatic have to play the same role as the homophobic schoolyard bully?

One last question, while I'm griping: is there a single NFL mascot worth keeping? Were it up to me, I'd axe them all. Except for Ragnar.

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