Wednesday, May 11, 2005

'UNDETECTABLE', MY ASS: Now, I happen to think I'm an okay lawyer, but I'm not quite sure how I'd get Vikings RB Onterrio Smith, already suspended once by the NFL for drug violations, out of this mess:
Smith acknowledged to airport police that he was carrying dried urine, along with a device called 'The Original Whizzinator' and a bottle of pills labeled 'Cleansing Formula.' He told police the kit was 'for making a clean urine test,' according to the police report, and said he was taking the materials to his cousin. . . .

The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).

On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an "undetectable", "foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device.

Oh, the old "my cousin needed clean urine for a school show-and-tell" excuse . . .

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