So we passed around the collective hat for ideas, and Matt, Alex, Isaac, Phil, Kingley, P.E. and I hereby present The Unofficial 2005 Oscars Drinking Game. It's one drink per infraction, except as noted:
- Every Michael Moore and/or Mel Gibson reference.
- Every Brad/Jennifer/Angelina reference.
- Every poor schlub who, just as he is about to get his chance to say thank you after the first guy droned on for a minute, doesn't even get a second at the microphone before the band drowns him out.
- Every time someone mentions how wonderful The Movies are as an institution.
- Every male winner who thanks his wife for being "beautiful", rather than intelligent, loyal or supportive.
- Every person named during the Necrology who you forgot was dead.
- If booing is audible when Reagan's death is mentioned, chug, because we'll have two weeks of conservative complaints to endure.
- Every losing nominee who pretends to look happy as someone else goes up to the stage.
- Every actor you spot with odd facial hair he has obviously grown for a current movie role.
- Every time ABC promotes 'Desperate Housewives' in some way.
- Every time Chris Rock mentions a black person, and then they cut to a shot of the first black person they find in the audience.
- Chug if during or immediately after the Counting Crows performance, they cut to one of Adam Duritz's many ex-girlfriends.
- Chug when Chris Rock makes fun of any ABC programming.
- Every shot of or reference to the guys from Ernst & Young.
- The Mary Steenburgen Memorial Shot: Every presenter who's announced as a former Oscar nominee or winner and you can't remember for what.
- Every time there's an inexplicable cut to Jack Nicholson.
- Every shot of one of Rock's former SNL castmates, but drink everything in the entire neighborhood if they show Rob Schneider.
- Drink if you can't figure out a damn thing Prince says when presenting an award.
- Chug if Rock brings up Pootie Tang.
No comments:
Post a Comment