WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, GOAT GIRL? Tuesday evening, American Idol returns for a fourth season.
Figure we've got a month of embarrassing auditions from those too clueless to realize what's in store for them, a month of occasionally interesting semifinals where much of the Whitney Houston repetoire is sung, a week or two of finals so we can all figure out who the final 2-3 singers will be, followed by two months of stalling punctuated only by obtrusive product placement and the annual unwarranted elimination of a talented African American in place of some mediocre white singer.
During the process, we will learn, once again, that Simon is blunt (and usually right), that Paula is flighty, and that singing Stevie Wonder is hard, yo. And it will all end with a show that's 2h 58m of filler and 2m of result.
Will you care? Can you get excited for another season of this? Or is the thrill gone, America?
P.S. Wonder what happened to the girl who sang that atrocious "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" in the AI2 semis? Well, her road to stardom is now paved with elephant poo.