A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

AS HOSTED BY PAST WINNERS MIRA SORVINO AND NATE NEWTON: The following 2004 ALOTT5MA Awards were handed out in ceremonies prior to broadcast:

Saddest Celebrity Death: Spalding Gray

Best-Orchestrated Celebrity Comeback: Prince

Favorite Recurring Joke On 'Pardon The Interruption': Trampoline Bear

Least Favorite Recurring Joke On 'Pardon The Interruption': Beano Cook.

Reality TV Competitor of the Year: Rob Mariano, Survivor All-Stars

The and then nothing turned itself inside-out Award for Indulgent, Non-Essential Television Programming: VH-1's Best Week Ever

Television Program That Most Ought To Hire Several of the Bloggers Here: VH-1's Best Week Ever

Saddest Involuntary Departure from the Blogosphere: The late Doug Pappas, who'd be having a field day analyzing the Washington Nationals situation right now.

Saddest Voluntary Departure from the Blogosphere: Alex Balk, The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

Best LawProf Addition to the Blogosphere: Ann Althouse

Best Question That No One Is Quite Ready To Ask Yet: Is Nancy Reagan dating again?

Reality TV Host of the Year: Tyra Banks is, again, a runner-up (too much Tyra's Mom!), Phil Keoghan gets enough praise, and Jeff Probst, apparently, is getting all that he needs right now.

So, this year, we single out Ralph Garman of SpikeTV's Joe Schmo 2, who, in the role of Last Chance for Love host Derek Newcastle, had to manage a fake British accent, two duped competitors, a major scenario shift and a wayward trained falcon, and did it all with great class, style, humor, and, given all the nonsense, the straightest face possible.

Congratulations to all the winners and their families. Complaints can be registered at the usual location.