A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

YOU TAKE THE GOOD, YOU TAKE THE BAD, YOU TAKE A CLOTHESPIN AND PUT IT ON A FIVE-YEAR-OLD'S TONGUE AND THERE YOU HAVE. . . . Now in bookstores: Lisa Whelchel, "Blair" from The Facts of Life, teaches today's Christian parents how to discipline their children. Among her favored methods: pouring hot sauce on the tongue to punish bad words, walking through a backyard barefoot to clean up dog poo, yanking girls by the hair in public, and the method described in the title to this post to quell a yelling child.

As one Amazon reviewer wrote:

Lisa Whelchel is absolutely by far the most insane person on the face of the planet. What kind of person would think that having your children run through a yard full of dog crap would teach them to be responsible, and "do the job right the first time". Or my favorite, use Bible verses to tell your children that if they look at bad things ravens will peck out their eyes . . . I mean really! I forgot this is how Jesus commanded us to show others . . . especially our children, his Love. If i were one of Lisa's children i would not only hate her but also God.

Mrs. Garrett could not be reached for comment.