Monday, August 4, 2003

SUGAR BEAR: Friday's LA Times article on threats made against rap impressario Marion "Suge" Knight quoted him making the following bold comparison:
[Knight] dismissed the idea that his life was in danger but in terms that conveyed resignation more than defiance.

"I don't believe anyone is hunting me. But even if they were, so what?" Knight said over dinner at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills in late May. "The only guarantee a man has in life is that you are born to die. I'm from the ghetto, where black men get killed every day.

"It's like Jesus. Anyone who reads the Bible knows Jesus was no punk. He didn't hide from nobody. The threat of danger didn't stop him from doing what he had to do. That's how it is with me too. I fear no man. Only God."

Let's look at the tale of the tape, shall we?

Jesus: Father was a carpenter.
Suge: Father was a truck driver from Mississippi.

Jesus: Entered the industry with the help of John the Baptist.
Suge: Entered the industry with the help of Dr. Dre.

Jesus: Rise seen as a threat by Pharisees and Romans.
Suge: Threatened Vanilla Ice and Easy-E.

Jesus: Allegedly turned water into wine.
Suge: Allegedly participated in beat-down of record promoter Mark Anthony Bell, using champagne bottles as weapons and forcing Bell to drink Suge's urine from a champagne glass, in an attempt to get Bell to reveal the addresses of Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs and his mother.

Jesus: Fed 5000 men, women and children with five loaves of bread and two fish.
Suge: Hired members of the Bloods, bragging that his company offered a second chance to people shunned by society.

Jesus: Caught up in Pharisees-Romans turf war.
Suge: Caught up in East Coast-West Coast turf war.

Jesus: "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:43-48.
Suge: "It seems like the more enemies you have in life, the better off you are. An enemy can't get close enough to you to do anything to you. He can't go to your house and turn around and steal from you. He can't come to you and borrow money. People who think everyone is their friend are leading a dangerous life." Esquire Magazine.

Jesus: Encouraged Pharisees to pay their taxes, saying "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
Suge: Left $6 million in Death Row taxes unpaid while serving prison sentence.

Jesus: Introduced the world to disciples Matthew, Mark, Luke and Paul.
Suge: Introduced the world to disciples Snoop Doggy Dogg and Tupac Shakur.

Jesus: Suspected betrayal by Judas, then died.
Suge: Suspected betrayal by Tupac, who died.

Jesus: Raised Lazarus from the dead.
Suge: Released numerous posthumous Tupac Shakur albums.

Jesus: Healed the sick; clothed the needy.
Suge: After Hammer filed for bankruptcy, Suge Knight signed him to Death Row records.

This blog's previous Tale of the Tape, evaluating Shaquille O'Neal's claim to being the "basketball-playing Nietzsche", can be accessed via this link.

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