SWERVING WHILE SIPPING? The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has released its list of the ten most dangerous foods to eat while driving.
Raise your hand if you've actually tried to eat chili (#4) while driving. And where are ice cream cones on the list? You ever try to lick a dripping ice cream cone and keep the jimmies from falling on your clothing on a ninety-degree day?
(Why do I have the feeling that if Norm MacDonald ($25,000 to play your bar mitzvah/wedding/ice cream social) were doing this item, he'd find a way to work in the phrase "assistant crack whore"?)