Tuesday, February 11, 2003

JOE OR MILLIONAIRE? There has been much speculation as to what the "big twist" at the end of Joe Millionare is going to be. Many believe that after the truth is revealed, if the woman still chooses to stay with Evan then the producers will, in fact, give them a million dollars and a happy ending.

I've got a better idea.

Every week, we're informed by the butler that the show will be a test of whether love or money conquers all. But if Evan Marriot has no money, that's not really what the women are choosing between at all -- it's whether love can survive Evan's Big Lie.

So, how does one make this a choice between love and money, as promised?

Step 1: Evan chooses between Zora and Sarah.

Step 2: Evan tells the "winner" the truth: he's a construction worker who does a little modeling work on the side. But that he really, really likes her.

Step 3: In comes mysterious host Alex McLeod, who offers our "winner" the choice: stay with Evan, or we'll give you a million dollars. Up to you.

Alternately, offer the money to Evan. Tell him he gets to keep the relationship, or Fox will make him as rich as he claimed to be for the past two months. Put the onus on him instead, and let America see what he decides matters most: love or money.

[insert devilish laugh]

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