Tuesday, February 18, 2003

CALAYA NIAMH AND RELATED ATROCITIES: I was recently pointed towards this website, a compendium of bad baby names posted on public message boards and snarky responses thereto. A sampler:
we would love to get some imput for anyone out there; what does everyone think of Chase? (we endearingly call her Chasey or Chasey-Mae) Her full name is Francesca Brandlynn; this way, though we hope she loves "Chase" too; she will have options; she can go with Fran' Chesa, or Frannie or Franka or Chasen...

Upon her birth, Francesca Brandlynn's parents had the horrifying realization: They had fallen behind in the mad dash to come up with the strangest name they could and soon, the Soviets would perfect the Ultimate Dumb-Ass Name. Francesca's parents knew the U.S. could not afford a Weird Name Gap, and began renaming their child over and over, each getting stranger and more distant from her original name.

The child was later mistaken for an amnesiac when, asked by a police officer what her name was she said, crying, "I don't know."


I am going to have a baby girl in May, and I'm having trouble with her name. Her middle name has to be Marissa, because my friend Marissa, made her baby's middle name my name. OK I like Raven Marissa, Daysha Marissa,and Kiandra Marissa, but I can't decide which. A few people have said that Raven sounds like a stripper, but I think it's pretty! HELP ME!

Daysha and Kiandra Marissa look like Jumble questions to me.

I'd like opinions please. How does Summer Banner sound. I really love the name Summer but don't know if it goes with our last name.

I like Runner Mummer Funner Tanner Dumber Gunner Bunter Punter. For a boy.

i wanted to name my girl Heaven but i have been getting alot of mixed reactions to it. is it to weird?

No one liked my choice of "Solace" for my second daughter. I loved it for it's meaning (comfort). It has grown on the rest of my family though and even strangers tell me what a beautiful, unique name it is.

Really? Is that what "solace" meant? I thought it was part of a turkey for some reason. OK, that's it. I officially declare all nouns off-limits. No Heaven, no Destiny, no Solace. Too much pressure. You just know Heaven will be a miserable bitch, Destiny a welfare queen and Solace in desparate need of Ritalin. No nouns. Not ever. No Hunter, no Colt, no Trinity, no Summer. No River, no Phoenix. No Attica, no Chance, no December. No Aria, no Legend, no god damn Dakota. Have you ever been to either of the Dakotas? Yeah, there's a reason. It's the same reason no one names their kids Iowa, Nebraska, Idaho or Wyoming.


Thank you, Diana Goodman, for this wonderful site. To protect the future potential Kayellas of the world from shame and ridicule, go here and here, and start posting.

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